Navigating the Future: Piloting and Parenthood

Author: Kelly Jamieson, MA / A320 Pilot

I first took to the skies when I was 19 years old, and in pursuit of my airline goal, I never really thought through the process of being a pilot and becoming a parent. Having a family was not on my to-do list in my twenties—and settling down was something I believed would eventually just “happen” later in my life, so I exercised very little intention around the idea. Much of the reason for this was because I didn’t actually know how settling down and balancing parenthood with a flying career would look—and it’s tough to move boldly toward a place you can’t visualize. So, as the years flew by and I chased airplanes and scarce jobs all over North America, I realized that this other hope of eventually having a husband and kids to come home to might not ever become a reality for me. I finally ended up marrying quite late in life, and didn’t give birth to my two children until I was almost 38 years old and 40.

Image source: Kelly Jamieson, 2020

Certainly not all, but many people have a desire to have children at some point in their lives. If you’re one, and you’ve found yourself wondering how you might accomplish this if you’re up in the sky for roughly half of every month of the year, you’re not alone. While it is not easy, it is more than possible.

I recently surveyed over 90 pilot-moms about the balance of motherhood and flying, and the research revealed some valuable advice that both young men and women today might benefit to hear from our present-day pilot-parents.

“More than anything, choose a supportive partner.” This was, by far, the most important contributing factor to making parenthood and piloting feasible. Almost every survey respondent indicated that their flying career would not be possible without the support of their partner. Whether male or female, having a strong partner who understands the demands of an airline career is critical. Of similar importance was having “supportive family members,” and “relying heavily on the help of family nearby.” Creating a strong support network is absolutely key to facilitating and enabling the work-life balance of any pilot. So if you haven’t yet, be prepared to ask for help; you can’t do this job alone, no one I know ever has.

“It’s hard, but you’ll figure it out as you go.” One of the most challenging aspects of piloting and parenting is there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. The dynamic nature of flying schedules and raising kids makes it almost impossible to put any consistent plan in place; this will always be a tough aspect to contend with in a family setting. The solutions you’ll need will often take a lot of communication and coordination, but the key to success in piloting and parenting is to be flexible, patient, and to trust the process; somehow the path always becomes clear in time—somehow you always find a way.

To help manage work-life balance, several suggestions from the survey included, “Choose a job that works for you and your family,” “Live in-base and don’t commute,” and, “Stay senior on your equipment for better lifestyle and schedule.” One respondent indicated that work-life balance is hard in other careers also—“it’s not just unique to aviation. Don’t let that aspect of the career overwhelm you into not having kids.” There’s no doubt that piloting and parenthood will be challenging, just remember that anything worth doing in life usually is.

“Appreciate those who have helped pave the way, and continue lobbying for change in the places that matter to you.” Balancing a flying career with raising children isn’t unique to women. The men I fly with want to be home with their kids just as much as I do. While there’s been positive progress in the aviation industry over the last several decades, many of the policies at our airlines today are still not as family-friendly as they could be—or should be.

Thanks to COVID-19, the drastic reduction in global flight schedules means that more pilots than ever are presently not flying and able to be home with their families—quite a rarity during summer months. But as the industry emerges from the shadows of the pandemic, we still need strong collective push (from both men and women) to implement long-overdue changes in the way our organizations value family and work-life balance. Where ever you are, or where ever you wind up, I encourage you take a positive, progressive stand, and lobby for continued change to make this career more accessible, more balanced, and more desirable for all.

While it may or may not be on your radar just yet, parenting introduces layers of complexity to a flying career—and a deep, new dimension to life. As you focus on what matters now, be sure to keep a long-term vision and those distant life-goals within reach on the horizon. “Prioritize your career until you have kids,” one survey respondent suggested, “and then prioritize your family.” Flying is an important job, but not as important as your job as a parent will be. If you do one day want kids, seek guidance from those who have journeyed that path before you, and know that with a positive approach and the right system in place, your commitment to the sky will provide a solid foundation for you to live a full and rewarding life both there and on the ground.